We’re taking a break

After our appointment with the social worked to discuss egg donation, we decided to take a break for the rest of the year.

Get my system clean from all these IVF meds as well as just taking a break mentally.

It has not been a fun first part of 2014. First with the cancelled IVF cycle due to poor response, then the failed IVF after being on the strongest protocol there is.

Having gained so much weight since the two operations last year, and not really doing anything to get back into shape (I was also lazy – I thought there’s no point in losing weight now, if I’m going to be pregnant in a few months in any case – boy was I wrong), I have decided to get back into shape.

I’m really not feeling comfortable in my body right now and haven’t for a while, so I have set a target to lose 10kg by monitoring my portions and getting more active. I hate diets, and frankly don’t believe in them; the weight is bound to return sooner or later when you return to your normal eating habits after reaching your goal weight.

I just need to stay motivated. That will be the difficult part.

Hubby and I have also decided to enjoy our time to ourselves for the rest of the year. Our two year wedding anniversary is coming up, as is his cousin’s wedding, so we’re making a long weekend out of it as an early anniversary getaway.

Am certainly looking forward to that.

It’s great not constantly stressing about having to inject at certain times, being moody, my eggs, a positive hpt etc. Yes I’m still sad that I will never have my own genetic baby, but I need time to grieve this “loss” before we take the next step. If I am ready by the end of the year, then that’s great, if not, we’ll take more time. Point is, I need to be ready and 110% comfortable with this huge decision before we take this massive step.

I’m going to try enjoy the time not ttc for the rest of this year and focus my time and energy on me.

I will still blog about general things as well as any new developments regarding the egg donation and our new ttc journey.

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